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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708142">More Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_upset_librarian/pseuds/an_upset_librarian'>an_upset_librarian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Temporary Character Death, Widojest - Freeform, an inner look at Jester's thoughts, background beauyasha if you squint, spoilers up to 124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_upset_librarian/pseuds/an_upset_librarian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jester didn’t know when she changed, when her feelings changed. Ever since the beginning of her adventure out of Nicodranas she thought she knew how to tell what she was feeling. She remembered her Mama and her stories of love and loss, and all the romantic books she read, and thought it was truly what love was like. So of course, when she met the brave and handsome Fjord, she figured he was what her Mama and the books were talking about. That the nervous fluttering over his sharp jaw and southern drawl were the beginnings of love.</p><p> </p><p>But things were different now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>More Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jester didn’t know when she changed, when her feelings changed. Ever since the beginning of her adventure out of Nicodranas she thought she knew how to tell what she was feeling. She remembered her Mama and her stories of love and loss, and all the romantic books she read, and thought it was truly what love was like. So of course, when she met the brave and handsome Fjord, she figured he was what her Mama and the books were talking about. That the nervous fluttering over his sharp jaw and southern drawl were the beginnings of love.</p><p> </p><p>But things were different now.</p><p> </p><p>Fjord hadn’t felt the same and Jester slowly realized what she was feeling might not be what love was truly supposed to be like. Then she had her friends, the Mighty Nein and things were fine for a while. They wandered the world and fought the bad guys, found some unexpected allies, and things were fine. She got over the shame and humiliation she felt over Fjord and was content with how things really were.</p><p> </p><p>But like she said, Jester didn’t know exactly when her feelings changed.</p><p> </p><p>Now, after their confrontation with the Tomb Takers, her mind wasn’t focused on the kiss with Fjord, or even Fjord at all. She was thinking about Caleb. Thinking about that nose wrinkle he had when he was thinking about something but didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. How scared he looked when they all woke in the middle of the night and discovered those cursed red eyes. Jester could tell he was trying to downplay how scared he was, for Beau and himself. She just knew, she knew <em>him</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Now they were back in relative safety, trying to figure out what to do next. Jester finally had a second to breathe and to think, and she was more confused than ever before. She knew talking to her mother would help sort through these chaotic and storming emotions whirling inside of her, but Jester couldn’t bear to face her mother just yet. Not when she hadn’t even adjusted to her new form. She didn’t want to see the heartbreak in her mama’s face when she saw the lost years. Despite stopping in Nicodranas, despite having only one place to stay in the city, she did not want to go see Marion and face her grief when Jester hadn’t even processed her own yet. There was too much going on, too much to face.</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully Beau wanted to go to the Cobalt Soul in Rexxentrum, so Jester could afford to avoid her fears for another day.</p><p> </p><p>They were all doing their own individual things, Beau and Caleb researching together and the others just holding on for now. Jester stared down at her open sketchbook, pencil in hand, and couldn’t think about what to draw. That nightmarish city haunted her thoughts, Lucien brought memories of Molly forwards. But at the same time Lucien terrified her, and he wore the skin she knew as Molly’s, but he wasn’t her friend anymore.</p><p>She could still hear the voices of those statues asking her to pay the price for the knowledge she sought. So, Jester just stared at the blank page, mind too full to focus on one individual thing. She couldn’t think about Fjord, about what she was feeling, or rather not feeling, towards him. Not when all of their lives were at risk. Not when the world was at risk. Caduceus was sitting across from her, looking ginormous in the small archive chairs, sipping from his cup of tea and staring out into the library with a peaceful aura. Jester wished she could have known how he managed to find such inner peace during all of this, wished she could be as wise and knowing as Caduceus. Be as sure of her abilities as he was.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, this place is nice and quiet. A good change of pace.” Caduceus’s voice cut into her thoughts. The Firbolg was peeking at her from above his teacup, eyes dancing with all too knowing light. Sometimes Jester forgot how perceptive he was, at least when it involved herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I bet Caleb and Beau are really finding out a lot of stuff,” Jester answered, her fingers tightening around the pencil. Caduceus smiled, closed his eyes, and nodded. He shifted in his seat, legs refolding. “Nice to have a rest before the rest of this storm.”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded; her own thoughts as clouded as any maelstrom. Jester really didn’t know how to deal with the danger they all faced. Her thoughts turned to Fjord, to her affection for him but also her hurt. Jester didn’t know if she’d forgiven him yet, for what happened in the past with Avantika and all of it. She didn’t know if that made her a terrible person, someone unworthy of the affection he was bestowing upon her. And yet she was still confused and torn and had no idea how to deal with those feelings.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I never knew Molly, but I know this Lucien fellow and I’ve seen how you all have been these past few weeks.” Caduceus sent her another all too knowing look. “I’d like to think I know all of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jester gripped the pencil so hard it nearly snapped in her fingers. She knew Caduceus was trying to help, trying to pry those hidden feelings she stuffed deep down inside to the surface. But how could she let them out, if they were different from what she thought she wanted, different from those stories she spent her childhood reading and admiring. Different from what her own mother spoke of. And now that they were all facing this otherworldly threat, she had to try and face those feelings before it was too late. Yet, Jester knew she was a coward, and Caduceus knew it too.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know if we’re thinking of Molly anymore, especially not after that night,” Jester said. Her thoughts turned to Caleb, again, of how he faced down Lucien, shaking with fear and nearly dead, but facing him, nonetheless. All because they knew what Lucien was trying to do was <em>wrong</em>, in the vilest of ways. That those red eyes and their source were cruel and filled with a wrongness none of them could stand. Even Artagan, in all his glibness, was wary of the ancient Somnovum city and what it represented. Now two of her closest friends were <em>infected</em> by that madness. It put so many things in perspective but managed to confuse her even more.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, sometimes we think we know what we want, at least the idea. The idea of saving your friend was a good one, but at least from my perspective I don’t think he’s coming back.” Caduceus fixed his all too knowing stare upon her. “Things change, people change, and it can take a while for the mind to catch up to the heart.”</p><p> </p><p>Jester stiffened. She knew he was talking about more than the Mighty Nein’s desire to bring back their fallen companion. She just nodded in vague agreement, her mind now overflowing with confusing thoughts. She didn’t even notice when he stood, stepping over to where she sat. His large hand came down on her shoulder, startling Jester from her tumbling mind.</p><p> </p><p>“No matter what happens, I don’t think this group will separate anytime soon. We are part of a much larger picture.” He squeezed her shoulder in comfort, murmured a goodnight and went off to the room they procured. Jester dropped her head in her hands, fingers digging into her scalp. She wished she could just reach in and fix this indecision, take out the uncertainty.</p><p> </p><p>But no, she had to go about it the hard and slow way. She looked up, glancing around the library. Yasha sat near Beau as the monk researched, Holy Avenger in her lap. Yasha stared at the sword with an intense focus that nearly matched Beau in the heart of her researching and theorizing. A few feet away, at another desk with the strange collar from Halas’s Halls, sat Caleb. His brow was furrowed in concentration and she could practically feel his thoughts from across the room. Jester smiled softly. Caleb was so cute when he was lost in arcane theory.</p><p> </p><p>Frowning, Jester quickly looked away from the cute wizard and turned back to her sketchbook. She would stare at that blank page, pencil unmoving, for another hour before finally turning in to bed with her friends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>----</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was chaos. Magic flared and sparked. Jester could hardly tell what was happening anymore. Her duplicate was gone, dispelled by Lucien’s anti-magic cone. She could hear Yasha’s rageful cries along with Beau’s cursing. At her left was Cree’s dead body, a bolt sticking out of her head. She knew somewhere Otis and Veth faced off, her halfling friend determined to destroy the crazy Otis. Caduceus was over by Fjord across the chamber. He slammed his staff down and a holy wave of energy pulsed over the Mighty Nein, boosting their strength. Fjord shot an Eldritch Blast at Zoren and Tiefall, the latter sent flying into the stone wall from the blast and falling unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t know how the Tomb Takers found them so easily. They were barely into the ruins of Aeor, planning on waiting by the entrance to ambush their enemy. And that enemy came. They came in the night, only Caleb’s alarm magic saving them from a deadly ambush. Now, Jester had blood flowing down her cheek from a scratch she received after being knocked down by Zoren. She looked around the battlefield, taking stock of her friends and preparing her next spell when she saw it. Caleb had been hiding near the edge of the fighting behind her, sending out spell after spell. She watched in horror as she saw Otis turn his crossbow away from Veth, a cruel smile twisting his face, and pointed it towards an unsuspecting Caleb. It seemed like everything after happened in slow motion. She saw Otis at the last second, saw him charge the bolt with strange blood magic and watched it whizz past her. Jester didn’t see the impact but turned and saw Caleb frozen, arms wide, arcane energy fizzling away from his fingertips. The bolt flashed and Jester watched as Caleb fell to his knees, blood pouring from the wound.</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb!” She cried, her voice piercing through the sounds of battle. Jester ran forwards, sliding to her knees and catching the wizard before he fully toppled over. She placed her hand to the wound, grimacing when she felt just how mangled his chest was.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here now, I got you,” she whispered, hands shaking as she gently laid him down, resting his head on her thighs.</p><p> </p><p>“Jester,” Caleb sputtered, blood spilling from his lips. His hand gripped hers tight, eyes wide with fear and pain. Jester cursed under her breath.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be okay, Caleb, I’ll heal you right up,” she said, blinking through the tears blurring her vision. She pulled out her Traveler symbol and said a few arcane words, touching her hand to his mangled chest, only for the magic to fizzle out. Confused, she turned and saw Otis staring right at her and pointing a stubby finger directly at her. She blinked and realized with horror that the bastard counter-spelled her healing. She ground her teeth together, hands shaking with rage.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get what’s coming to you!” Jester screamed, just as Veth popped out from a fallen column and fired her own voltaic bolt. It struck true and Otis only kept that horrific smile on his face as he fell prey to his grievous wounds. Jester shook her head and turned back to the man in front of her that needed her help.</p><p> </p><p>She pressed against his wound, preparing to cast another healing spell when Caleb pulled her hand to his face, pressing her palm against his lips. He smiled through the pain and lifted a shaky hand to brush a lock of hair from her face. He was so pale, like all the light and life was leeching away with every breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Jester, I wish we had more time. There is so much I-” his voice was barely over a whisper and it faded away along with the light in his eyes as his body went limp, hand falling from her face. Jester didn’t know what to do for a moment, she just stared into Caleb’s empty eyes and felt that emptiness filled her own chest. A breath later she snapped from her shock, remembering the diamonds she held in her pack and what they were capable of.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to say that and just die on us,” Jester said, tears falling down her cheeks. She grabbed a diamond from her pack, holding it over his wounded chest. They didn’t know how the ancient dregs of Aeorian magic would affect powerful spells like revivify, but Jester would be damned if she didn’t try. No, not try. She <em>would</em> bring Caleb back. “You don’t get to say those things when I haven’t even decided yet, when we have so much to look forward to together.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears fell from her face, some landing on his face. Jester called out to Artagan, “Artie, you better fucking listen this time we’re bringing him back.” She pushed her magic into the diamond, pressing it against Caleb’s chest and sending the healing energy into him. The diamond began to glow and shine along with the diamond dust dwelling in her tattoo as the magic swelled around her. She felt Artagan behind her, bolstering her power with his own and felt something open and she reached in with her magic and <em>pulled</em>.</p><p> </p><p>The diamond shattered, the shimmering dust falling into Caleb’s wound and his chest lit up with holy magic. Jester chanted under her breath, her heart frozen in her chest in anticipation while she waited and watched. The glow subsided and she saw pale scarred, but healed, skin through the tear in Caleb’s clothes. She didn’t care what was happening in the battle around her, if her friends were okay or not. She would deal with that later, when Caleb was alive again. The noise surrounding them faded to the background as Jester stared at his face, waiting for any sign of life.</p><p> </p><p>She lowered her head, pressing her forehead against his. “Please, you have to come back. You can’t leave me alone, Caleb. Please come back to me.” The tears were still falling. Her hand fisted in his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>A moment passed, and then she felt his chest rise and heard him gasp for air. Jester sat up and placed her hands on either side of his face, gasping in relief when she felt warmth in his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Autsch, was zum,”</em> Caleb said, his voice rough. Jester smiled and pulled him in against her in a tight embrace. “Caleb! Ohmygods I’m so happy you’re back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, <em>ja, </em>Jester. Hello.” Caleb returned her embrace momentarily before pulling back with a groan.</p><p> </p><p>“You can never do that again! I can’t lose you,” Jester said. She sniffled and wiped her nose against her sleeve. Caleb gave her a small smile and reached up, wiping a tear from her cheek with calloused fingers. She found herself leaning into his touch and Jester stared into his eyes and felt warmth bloom in her chest at the affection she saw within his blue eyes. All of the confusion and uncertainty she’d felt for the past few weeks seemed to fade away for a moment. Jester stared into Caleb’s eyes and felt only certainty. He’d nearly died on her, well actually died temporarily, and she couldn’t bear the thought of him being gone. It was different than when Fjord died on the ship. Somehow, it was different. And now she knew why.</p><p> </p><p>Love swirled in her chest and she pulled Caleb in for another hug, squeezing tight. He grunted and froze before melting against her and pulling her in close. He breathed her name against the skin of her neck and Jester felt a shiver down her spine.</p><p> </p><p>The moment passed, however as the battle around them caught their attention again. Beau was tossed by Lucien as Yasha burst her wings out and sliced at their former friend. Jester pulled away, squeezing his hand in hers before helping pull him to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>“Caleb, when all this is done, we need to talk,” she said, sparing a glance at Fjord before smiling at the wizard. Caleb stared at her blankly, brow quirking in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just get through this, <em>ja?</em>” Caleb responded slowly, pulling his hand from hers and preparing to jump back into the fray.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all fellow widojest shippers! This is my first little drabble for them, written while procrastinating studying. Hope you enjoyed and stay strong. We'll put on our clown noses together.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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